Introduction: G
I don't care if it rains or freezes C
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus G
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Riding on the dashboard of my car, G
Comes in colors pink and pleasant, C
Glows in the dark cause he’s iridescent G
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Take Him with you when you're travelling far
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Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
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Riding on the dashboard of my car
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Through my trials and tribulations,
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And my travels ‘cross the nation,
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With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
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When I'm in a traffic jam
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He don't care if I say Damn
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I can let all sorts of curses roll
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Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
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For he has a plastic ear
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The man who invented plastic saved my soul
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Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
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Riding on the dashboard of my car
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Once his robe was snowy white
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Now it isn't quite so bright
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Stained by the smoke of my cigar
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If I weave around at night
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And the police think I'm tight
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I don’t worry that they’ll find my stash
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Plastic Jesus shelters me
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For His head comes off, you see
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And voila, I have a secret flask
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Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
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Riding on the dashboard of my car
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Ride with me and have a dram
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Of the blood of the Lamb
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Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
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When my babe and I go parkin’
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Fornicating in the dark
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I don’t have to think she’ll get PG
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I have no worries and no cares
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Because the raincoat that he wears
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Serves a dual purpose, don’t you see
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Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
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Riding on the dashboard of my car
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He don’t slip and he don’t slide
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Because his ass is magnetized
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Sittin on the dashboard of my car
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Riding home one foggy night,
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With my honey cuddled tight,
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I missed a curve and off the road we veered.
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My windshield, it got smashed-up good,
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And my darling graced the hood.
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Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared.
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Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
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No longer chides me with His holy grin.
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Doctors in the X-ray room
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Found Him in my darling's womb.
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Someday, maybe he'll be born again!
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Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
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Riding on the dashboard of my car
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Through my trials and tribulations,
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And my travels ‘cross the nation,
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With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.